by Ray Anderson Today is Earth Day and like the great George Carlin, I have to question the motives of the environmental movement.  As Carlin said, these people aren’t looking to save the planet, they’re looking for a clean place to live; the planet is fine, it’s the people who are screwed.  No matter how many harmful chemicals we pump into the atmosphere, no matter how much toxic waste we dump into the water supply, and even if we all have a size 16 carbon footprint, the planet will be here and adapt to it; the human race however, will not. The problem is in the language, phrases like global warming, greenhouse gases, and climate change just aren’t very threatening.  “Going green” has already been brushed off as hippie nonsense by the right-wing and we still have members of congress who think the world will only end when God brings forth the Rapture.  What does the environmental movement need to do to get people serious about saving the planet?  I hate to say it, but they need to become the Republican Party. That’s right, we need some of that patented conservative fear mongering, just tell the people straight up that they’re going to drown, melt, or melt while drowning.  The phrase “global warming” has already been ruined by idiot talking heads who think snow disproves it and “climate change” sounds awesome to people who live in Cleveland in January, so let’s use some of that biblical doom and gloom.  Change “global warming” to something more threatening like “Earthly Hellfire & Brimstone,” and watch them suddenly start paying attention.  Of course, we run the risk of Republicans authoring legislation to use tax dollars to build an ark, but at least they’ll admit there’s a problem.